When porgs were first introduced back in July, six months ahead of ‘s release, the reaction of fans was immediate. They were The New Hotness. Instant Porg Devotee accounts appeared on Twitter. Fans made endless porg jokes. When we saw one in the Falcon with Chewie in October, the squeeing began anew. So why in heavens name, now that the movie is here, is everyone posting tweets about eating porgs? Why would anyone suggest such a horrible thing, when these creatures are so cute?
There were a few questions when they were first introduced. These are small bird-like creatures, who don’t look like they can fly very well, if at all, living on an island with Luke. Did he hunt and eat porg? But Mark Hamill said absolutely not. Luke has been a vegetarian (though he does eat the occasional fish) since he lived with Owen and Beru. Something about a “WompRat Brisket?” We think it best not to ask.
But then the critters arrived on screen, and we discovered that though Luke doesn’t eat his porg neighbors, Chewbacca had no such qualms. He was even shown with porg butts roasting on an open fire. And the debate started all over again.
Please be advised: #Porgs are not on any #AhchToMenu-Luke hasn’t been a meat-eater since Aunt Beru made that nice #WompRatBrisket back home.
— (@hamillhimself) #
But even before fans got an eyeful of Chewie’s mouthful (and the sad faced brothers and sisters of the victim looking at him with eyes of betrayal), the subject of porgs-as-food had already been revived.
It started with Oscar Isaac, who spent an entire interview talking about how to eat porgs.
Hello, did you know Oscar Isaac is perfect
— (@bobalgreene) #
Are there turnips on Ahch-To? What sort of vegetation does Luke eat regularly? Should we ask the Caretakers?
🎶there is a castle on a cloud I like to go there in my sleep 🎶
— (@sketchesbyboze) #
On second thought, let’s not ask the Caretakers. They have their own problems.
Some already were there with Isaac, even before the movie arrived. When the porgs were first introduced, they considered the best way to field dress them for the hungry Jedi stranded alone* on an island in the middle of nowhere.
@sithsabers I wonder if someone can send Oscar Isaac my guide to field-dressing porgs, since he thinks of eating them so much. https://t.co/TnkXKP2ueQ
— (@favomancer) #
Once the movie arrived, any fear that porg futures would tumble and go the way of the gungan were assuaged. Porgs were the hit of the season.
I want a David Attenborough narrated documentary short on Porgs. #TheLastJedi
— (@ollyog) #
And more importantly, the discussion of porgs-as-food became one of the hidden trends of .
I’m a supporter of WETP: Wookies for the Eating of Tasty Porgs.
— (@darth_hound) #
Some came down on the side of the porgs-as-food debate with “Absolutely not, even if I were starving.”
@HamillHimself @SassyMamainLA I’d rather die starving on an island with no food, than think about eating these little critters ❤️ #Porgs
— (@murphybeau69) #
Others were already planning to bring dip sauces on their next trip to Ahch-To.
I love porgs. Especially dipped in honey mustard.
— (@badfatherhan) #
Is that a Micky-D’s mayo based honey mustard, or a regular one? Would Space McDonald’s serve porg nuggets?
Others took up their new Save The Animals cause as a rallying cry:
STOP EATING PORGS
— (@susanarendt) #
But the less emotionally sensitive dispassionately considered this curious question. What does porg taste like? What sort of meat do they have? Are they an animal made of red meat or white meat?
@audible_com @jenheddle @missingwords @JayMewes @geekgirldiva What do Porgs taste like? Are they more red meat or light meat like chicken?
— (@thegetawayplan9) #
The obvious answer:
I’m gonna say, “Tastes like chicken.”. #AudibleStarWars https://t.co/AK6cVuqYIb
— (@geekgirldiva) #
Let’s consider this scientifically. Red meat birds are flight based. White meat birds are land and walking based.
We do see porgs fly a little, but their penguin shape suggest they are more swimmers, or land-and-walking based.
I discussed this with a gourmand. They are most likely white meat, but would almost certainly have a full layer of subcutaneous fat, like a duck, so one could baste them in their own juices. Full-bodied white wine recommended. #PorgNation https://t.co/MsNwT1XuSj
— (@anibundel) #
Wine pairings are always important. How else would you know how to order your expensive high-end porg dish next time you’re at the $500 price fixe restaurant on Canto Bight? (I assume porg is the fad dish of the season.)
Other brought facts to the fantasy chef’s table.
@geekgirldiva I dunno…I had puffin in Iceland, and that was more of a red meat. They look similar to puffins, don’t they?
— (@michelewells) #
Why would puffin meat matter? Because, according to behind the scenes facts, porgs are actually just a way to CGI out the puffins that infested their filming area.
Apparently porgs are in the new #StarWars because it was easier than digitally removing the hundreds of puffins living on Skellig Michael island where it was filmed. Which means they’re basically SPACE PUFFINS!!
— (@davidghamilton1) #
So if under the CGI, the bird is red meat, does that make porgs red meat? Discuss!
Everyone’s talking about eating porgs (NO) but what about the Crystal Foxes? THEY COME PRE-SEASONED!
— (@mildlyamused) #
No one wants to eat crystal foxes. Do you have any idea what one of those things costs at Williams-Sonoma?
@alexanderchee @veschwab Porgs are for eating. Foxes are for moral support.
— (@sakuralovestea) #
If crystal foxes are not moral support, then they are at least for collecting, so in a generation or two, the grandchildren can present them on .
This Is Just To Say I have eaten the porg That was in The Falcon And which you were probably Saving The Galaxy with Forgive me It was delicious And so warm – @chivoquechiva
— (@purrbotkitty) #
And just remember…
they’re good porgs, brent
— (@rstevens) #
Yes, they are. Especially with a nice buttery potato side dish.