Between Will’s trolling (?) silliness and Joaquin’s persistent oddness, this is the strangest interview we’ve read in a long time!
Joaquin Tries To End The Interview Immediately
FERRELL: I’m assuming we’ve begun. I’m assuming the interview is now.
PHOENIX: Or we could call it right now. Why not? Don’t you hate when these interviews drag on and on, and it’s like, “Fuck it, I’ve got things to do. I don’t have time to sit around and read this bullshit.”
FERRELL: Let’s just call it. That would look so funny in print.
Will Asks Joaquin If He’s A Little Bitch
FERRELL: I love everything. I was recently thinking about your role in “Gladiator” , which is a big studio movie.
PHOENIX: Are you reading off prepared questions and trying to pretend that they’re just popping into your head?
FERRELL: Maybe wait to hear what I have to say: I was thinking about your role in that movie, and the reason why it works is because you’re such a little bitch.
PHOENIX: [laughs] I don’t know if that’s why the movie works. It probably had something to do with Ridley Scott.
FERRELL: In your personal life, are you sometimes a little bitch?
PHOENIX: Be more specific.
FERRELL: Can you get a little bitchy if you’re in a bad mood?
PHOENIX: Definitely. You can ask Reilly about that. I think I tortured him the first couple of weeks, maybe the entire shoot.
Joaquin Apparently Just Learned That Valentine’s Day Was A Thing
PHOENIX: Did you know that it’s Valentine’s Day?
FERRELL: I did. I’m going to a group Valentine’s Day dinner with my wife and four other friends.
PHOENIX: That sounds awful. Can I ask you a question? What is Valentine’s Day?
FERRELL: It’s a holiday, where if you have a loved one, you express love and affection in some way. For kids, they make little cards and they give them to their friends, and then some people just ignore it altogether.
Will Asks Joaquin About Working With “M. Night Shyamalamadingdong”
FERRELL: When you worked with M. Night Shyamalan, did you ever just once call him M. Night Shyamalamadingdong?
FERRELL: Okay. How would he have reacted if you were like, “Hey! M. Night Shyamalamadingdong! Can I ask you about this one camera shot?”
PHOENIX: Having been teased most of my childhood about my name–
FERRELL: You’re sensitive to that area.
PHOENIX: [laughs] Yeah.
Joaquin Compares Having Children To Rotten Bananas
PHOENIX: Having bananas around the house is like having kids. I don’t have kids but I have nephews, and I grew up in a big family with a lot of kids, and I have to say that the smell of rotting bananas seemed to permeate the household throughout my entire childhood. [Ferrell laughs] And I feel like, if you wanted to know what it’s like to have kids, you could get a banana and throw it on your bed for a few weeks, then you’d kind of know what you’re going to be dealing with. Because bananas are basically—that’s what toddlers eat, right?
[Image via IPA/WENN.]